I’ve been thinking about Ed Westwick a lot lately. I just watched Chalet Girl on Netflix and I’ve watched Gossip Girl 100 times. Every time, Ed Westwick gets me. I’m not sure I’d put him in my Guilt-Free 3, but today, I’m enjoying him. You should, too.
Did y’all think I disappeared? I’m still here. Don’t you fret!
I think I owe you all an updated GF3. I honestly can’t even remember the last time I did one. August maybe? So since then, I’ve had a nugget and my tastes haven’t necessarily changed, but I am struggling with this a little bit.
It’s no secret that I’ve gone after the burly, brawny men. Bigger guys, manly, sometimes with a gut (I love you, Chris Pratt pre-superhero status). Part of me is wildly attracted to Nick Offerman. I don’t know.
And then things happen. Things like Harry Styles finding his way into my life. And at first I was disgusted. I mean, come on. A dude with skinny jeans whose sprinkled in tattoos like a careless cupcake that fell into a pile of sprinkles. But I’ll be damned, he’s in my Guilt-Free 3 right now. I DON’T WANT HIM TO BE. But I also can’t help myself.
So here we go:
#1 – Harry Styles
Seriously, please don’t judge me. I really can’t help it. I don’t know what it is about him. I hate men in skinny jeans. I hate super skinny men. I hate careless tattoos. But I love boy bands. And I love long hair. And I love those eyes and that smile and the goofy guy I assume he is. I love the fact that he probably calls people “love.” I honest to goodness couldn’t sing you a 1D song. All I know is that I love Harry.
And this is admitting a lot – but I also love the dirty dark Harry that shows up in the fanfiction I find (DON’T JUDGE ME). Never mind, judge me. Because I must be stopped. STOP READING FANFICTION. YOU ARE 30 YEARS OLD. Harry was born in 1991. I’m Dirty & 30. I’m going to shut up now.
#2 – Scott Eastwood
If you follow my other blog, you know that I just wrote a scathing review about The Longest Ride and what a terrible move it is. The only thing that kept me looking (at least until halfway through the movie when I walked out) was Scott Eastwood and that killer smile. So he is still welcome in my GF3…so long as he doesn’t try to act.
#3 – Jake Johnson
Weird, right? Kinda weird? I don’t know. After watching New Girl and Drinking Buddies (obsessively, might I add), I am all about this dude. I like that he’s not ripped. I like that he’s a little dirty and that he has a beard and likes beer. Maybe this isn’t weird. Maybe this one makes more sense than anything.
It’s been awhile since I updated my Guilt-Free 3, and these pregnancy hormones have created a trend in the latest guys. Tall, big, blonde. RAWR.
So without further ado, for your viewing pleasure, here is my latest GF3:
#1 – Chris Hemsworth
You didn’t really think I was getting rid of him, right? And he fits the description: tall, big, blonde. Again, I say to you, RAWR.
#2 – Chris Pratt
I even found him adorable as a chubby Parks & Rec guy…but holy crap.
#3 – Scott Eastwood
Where can I find you, Scott? I could learn to sail. I could. I swear.
To follow in Matt’s footsteps, Roger has taken two approaches to the Guilt-Free 3 and offered his female picks, as well as his male picks. Let’s get it on!
#1 – Brooklyn Decker
#2 – Charlize Theron
#3 – Candace Bailey
And now for Roger’s Men!
Man Crush #1 – Josh Turner
Man Crush #2 – Chris Hemsworth
You STEP BACK.
Man Crush #3 – James Franco
What the hell is with you two?
I’m super excited that the Guilt-Free 3 is gaining speed again. One of my newest coworkers decided to submit his GF3 PLUS a bonus “Man Crush GF3!” I, for one, am excited, particularly about one of the men on his Man Crush GF3. I will comment accordingly in italics.
#1 – Shantel VanSanten
#2 – Lindsey McKeon
#3 – Mila Kunis
And now for Matt’s Men!
Man Crush #1 – Jensen Ackles
NICE. I haven’t seen him in a long time.
Man Crush #2 – James Franco
Part of me gets it, part of me doesn’t.
Man Crush #3 – Jason Segel
Yesssss. He’s adorable and wonderful and all the things a good man should be. Nice choice, Matt!
I posed the Guilt-Free 3 question to my favorite afternoon radio show, The Alan Cox Show here in Cleveland, and Erika Lauren–one of the hosts–answered me! Here is her Guilt-Free 3 (and boy are they yummy):
#1 – Ryan Gosling
#2 – Adam Levine
#3 – Alex Pettyfer
My husband Mike has since decided he wants a Spartacus Guilt-Free 3. Here they are!
#1 – Katrina Law – Mira
#2 – Viva Bianca – Ilithyia
#3 – Gwendoline Taylor – Sibyl
My friend Matt turned me on to Spartacus. I then turned my husband on to it. Because let’s be honest, there’s naked people everywhere and they’re all really attractive naked people and why the heck not?
There are so many attractive naked people, in fact, that I had a hard time just picking three. But I did it, because I am a GF3 Master.
#1 – Andy Whitfield – Spartacus #1
Ready for sadness? Andy Whitfield died after the first season of filming Spartacus of stage 4 non-Hodgkins lymphoma leaving behind a wife and two kids. With that said, his #1 ranking in this GF3 is a tribute to his awesomeness and his sexiness. No one will ever be as good as Andy.
#2 – Dustin Clare – Gannicus
Gannicus is saucy, confident, and dirty in all the right ways.
#3 – Brett Tucker – Publius Varinius
Brett Tucker played Publius Varninius–and he almost didn’t make the cut…until I saw him with stubble.
And with the stubble?
My coworker, Tami, decided she wanted a stab at the Guilt-Free 3. I won’t lie–I don’t know who the first two are, but I could get behind Bruno Mars. Tami, if you feel the need to elaborate, you let me know!
#1 – Marc Bolan
#2 – Robin Zander
#3 – Bruno Mars
How’s this for embarrassing? I’m going to do a “Hair Metal” GF3… What’s wrong with me? Lots. I actually used to be wildly attracted to this look. I’ve matured. Shut up.
#1 – Jon Bon Jovi – Bon Jovi
You’ll always hold a special place in my heart, Jon. You were the more “clean cut” of the hair metal stars, even though you tried to dirty yourself up with “Slippery When Wet.” I always thought of you as the nice one.
#2 – Brett Michaels – Poison
I feel like I’m going to catch a disease for even putting Brett on the list…but his hair is pretty glorious, and if you look past his girlish make-up, he’s not half bad.
#3 – Joe Perry – Aerosmith
This picture actually still makes me a little…yeah, embarrassingly enough, it still makes me a little hot. Joe Perry was GORGEOUS. Was being the operative word. It’s a shame the way you’ve aged, good sir.